


All The Broken Things

by fuckyeahdeafandasexual



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexuality, Deaf Character, Deaf Clint Barton, F/M, Pietro Maximoff Lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2016-03-15
Packaged: 2018-05-26 21:45:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6257038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuckyeahdeafandasexual/pseuds/fuckyeahdeafandasexual
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers are camping in their backyard. Because the farmhouse isn’t big enough for all these superhero people. The last time the team was on their farm (when the whole thing with Ultron happened); they already hadn’t almost enough room for everybody. Hell, with Tony and Steve sharing a room Clint was fearing the whole time that a certain somebody would be thrown in a wall at some point.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All The Broken Things

**Author's Note:**

  * For [skyfallat221b](https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyfallat221b/gifts).



> This is a fanfic I wrote in June 2015 for the fantastic @spectralarchers :p

The Avengers are camping in their backyard. Because the farmhouse isn’t big enough for all these superhero people. The last time the team was on their farm (when the whole thing with Ultron happened); they already hadn’t almost enough room for everybody. Hell, with Tony and Steve sharing a room Clint was fearing the whole time that a certain somebody would be thrown in a wall at some point.

But now, with the newest additions to the team, there is just not enough room. Steve had then decided, with permission from Laura and Clint of course, to turn the Avengers’ well-earned vacation into a ‘camping in the backyard’ thing.

There is a giant bonfire in the middle of a couple of huge tents, courtesy of Tony Stark - who first completely designed a luxury bungalow tent the size of the farmhouse when he heard of the vacation before Steve told him in a stern Captain America voice that it was just going to be a ‘simple’ camping trip.

So Clint sits now in his porch before the farmhouse, with a mug with hot chocolate in his hands and enjoying the ridiculous chaos that were the Avengers. There is also a lot of noise, with Thor’s booming voice and Tony’s obnoxious rambling. Clint likes to watch from a distance, being the hawk he is, and appreciates the absence of sound from time to time. Obviously he can just turn his hearing aids off, but not everybody knows sign language if they want to talk to him. Actually only Laura, Natasha and the kids know how to sign. Coulson had known to sign too (he was one of the first people in Clint’s life who had wanted to learn for him) but Coulson is dead now. And dead people don’t really count, do they?

Clint feels his thoughts wander to Laura. He feels so much grateful love for her. She has done so much for him, has put up with so much of his bullshit.

Like when he lost almost all of his hearing due to an accident with a sonic arrow on a SHIELD mission. Like when he was afraid he wouldn’t know how to be a good father when Laura was pregnant with Cooper. Like when he feared Laura would leave him when he confessed that he actually didn’t like sex like ‘normal’ people did. Looking at the scene before him, at his two families, he can hear his heart cry with relief.

Clint had a pretty shitty childhood, thanks to his abusing father, who already had beated a lot of his hearing out him before the sonic arrow accident. His teenage years in the circus weren’t also heaven, but at least he had Barney then. Sometimes Clint wonders what had happened to his brother. Tasha had once hinted at MI6, but Clint has never really dared to look it up.

The first time Clint realized he was asexual (although he didn’t know the word until much later) was back in the circus. He was attracted to an attractive girl and the kissing and cuddling were also really nice. But when they finally got close enough and the privacy enough to do it (Barney went out for a night and left him a couple of condoms) Clint realized sex wasn’t what he really wanted. After her, he had his fair share of experimenting both with girls and boys, like he hoped that if he would have sex enough times, his broken libido would be fixed.

When Clint finally left the circus (and Barney) behind, he understood that sexual activities weren’t his thing and would never be. But understanding and accepting aren’t the same thing and Clint kept neglecting his sexuality (or lack of it) and actually just went with it if he hooked up with someone. He never told any of his partners and was too ashamed to talk about it with the shrinks SHIELD appointed to him.

It wasn’t until Bobbi and he had a harsh break-up and Clint ended up being a rambling drunk om Coulson’s doorstep (the same Coulson who learned sign language after the accident with the sonic arrow and always kept spare hearing aids for Clint on his and in his office) and sat him down for a talk about asexuality.

But in the end, it was Laura who made him accept everything he thought was wrong with himself.

And being asexual isn’t always a bad thing. It was even a big part of the reason why Natasha chose to trust him in the beginning. He never showed any sexual attraction towards her and Natasha always felt it as a sign of respect, even when she learned he actually never showed sexual attraction to someone.

With all these things that have happened in his life and all these people who has played an important role, Clint can merely believe he is alive. That he is healthy. But here he is now. A friend. A husband. A father. An Avenger. The greatest marksman the world has ever known. With broken ears and libido. But Clint has made peace with the latter. “Sometimes broken things,” Laura told him once, “don’t need fixing.”

So Clint is smiling happily at his kids who are playing Tag with Wanda and Vision. A nine months old Nathaniel Pietro is perched on the hip of his namesake, (yes, the Maximoff boy is alive thanks to Dr. Cho’s regenerating machine aka “The Crib”) and is happily sucking on his thumb. Pietro, Rhodey, Thor, Steve and Sam are sitting by the bonfire. Clint supposes Steve and Sam are talking about their road trip during which the two have been searching for the Winter Soldier.

Natasha is huddled in blanket by the other side of the bonfire, swapping stories with Pepper. Tony and Bruce (who had returned four months ago from his self-chosen exile) are sitting next to them with the spider boy and Clint knows they were science-ing, like everybody use to call it. He just hopes it won’t result in another robot who wanted to destroy mankind.

Peter “Spidey” Parker is hardly out of college yet, but he can easily hold up his own against Tony and Bruce, being a genius and all that.  
Tony had met the boy during an intervention in New York and dragged him to the Avengers Facility when he discovered his real identity. Peter had lost his girlfriend Gwen and been gravely depressed after that, unnecessary risking his life during the many interventions in New York. Gladly, the huge family that was the Avengers, has adopted him very easily and the boy is doing a lot better now since he first joined the superhero team.

While Clint is supervising his bunch of misfits, Laura walks from behind on the porch with a couple of bowls full of marshmallows (and a couple of sticks in each bowl) in her arms. She smiles at him, sets the bowls on the floor and sits next to him. Clint tries to steal a marshmallow from a bowl but Laura batts his hand away.

“You need to put this on,” and she dishes up a shirt from somewhere and puts it in his lap. Clint almost groans when he recognizes it.

“So, it’s that time of the year again?” Laura doesn’t say anything but only rolled her eyes and poked him in his side.

“Alright, alright,” Clint sighes and puts the black shirt with the pirate flag and the words 'Asexual Pirates aren’t interested in you booty.’ printed on.

It isn’t that he was ashamed of being asexual. He is just not used to go bragging around about something so private, thanks to being a secret agent for years. He does it more for the kids who make or buy him 'asexual gag gifts’ every year. He wonders what this year’s gift will be. Hopefully not another shirt, he already doesn’t know what to do with all the ones he has gotten from Cooper and Lila.

Laura smiles again and gives him a little peck on his lips before she stands up, collecting the marshmallow bowls in her arms. Together they walked towards the bonfire and it doesn’t last long before they have the attention of each Avenger. Tony and Peter immediately make grabby hands to the marshmallows and start experimenting on how long they can hold a marshmallow in the bonfire before it catches fire. Rhodey explains the tradition of roasting marshmallows to Thor and Vision.

Laura and Clint settle in two camping chairs, everybody happily roasting and munching on the sweet candy. Nathaniel is sitting on his mother’s lap while Pietro runs around and tries to steal from everybody’s bowls.

“So, what is it actually with the shirt?”

Clint tries to keep his reflexes under control, but he still froze in his chair while reaching for a marshmallow. The chatter stopped to a deadly end. He swore that he could feel everybody’s eyes on him. Damnit, Stark.

He had known there would be questions about the shirt. But it still isn’t easy. This was the moment. His coming out to the team.

Before Pepper or Bruce could slap Tony on the head for being rude, Clint cleared his throat and mumbled: “No, it’s fine. Really.” Natasha gives him a sketchy smile, her way of knowing she’ll be there for him. Laura grabs his hand that lays between them and squeezes it. Cooper and Lila are sitting on the ground, next to their parent’s chairs, and they look at him like they trust him to do the right thing.

He wants to say some witty remark to Tony’s questions, but his brain stays silent on that one. So maybe just the simple truth is the best thing he can do now.

“I'm asexual.” Clint says. In fact, He more blurts it out but he couldn’t care less.

The silence lasts five seconds before everybody starts asking questions at the same time. It’s one big chaos and Clint just waits until it becomes quieter.

“Uh, so that’s where all the purple comes from,” Sam laughs, and Clint can’t help but laugh too. At least one person who knows what I am talking about.

Everybody looks questioningly to Sam who just shrugs and says: “Riley,” like it explains everything. And it does.

After a lot talking and explaining to the other team members (and Sam and Natasha being very welcome helps) Clint feels secure enough to start eating marshmallows again. Just straight from the bowl, he hasn’t patience anymore to roast them.

“So does this mean we can get dad’s present now?” Cooper asks. Clint can’t stop himself from smiling and nods. The kids jump up and start racing towards the farmhouse to go get it. It isn’t long before they come back with a box and suddenly someone covered his eyes. He recognizes Laura’s hands and relaxes. He hears the box being opened and a chorus of giggles and surprised happy squeals follows. Whatever their present is, it had to be cute as hell.

“Three guesses, daddy!” Lila says. Clint can’t help but protest although he knows there is no negotiating possible.

“Well, is it a shirt?” he asks because that is what most of his presents in the past were.

“NOOOO,” the children yell happily and behind him he can hear Laura giggle.

Clint now frowns his eyebrows because he is really bad at the guessing game (always has been) and he thinks of that time a couple of weeks ago, when Lila was asking for a dog.

“Is it a dog?”

“NOOO,” they yell again, and now the whole team yells with them. Some people are even laughing, however Clint can’t hear who. He suspects Tony and Pietro.

“Dogs aren’t purple, dad.” Cooper grins. Clint wants to stick his tongue out to his boy. Smartass.

“Last chance,” Laura teases him.

Clint doesn’t even properly try. “Is it a coffee mug?” he asks hopefully. Because he really likes coffee and one can never have enough coffee mugs.

Laura lowers her hands and pokes him in his side.

He looks at the thing Cooper lays softly in his lap, like it’s a baby. It’s a teddy bear. And not just a teddy bear, no. It has a little dark purple hoodie with the asexual flag on it. Clint takes it in his hands and feels the bow and the quiver with a couple of tiny arrows it has on its back. There are weird things in the teddy bear’s ears. Clint nearly makes a choking sound when he realizes they are hearing aids. He feels his eyes getting wet.

Of all the things he expected, this wasn’t one of them. The teddy bear hits too close to home. This is how his kids see him: a superhero who is broken. But a superhero nonetheless. One who, despite all the broken things that define him, saves the world with his superhero friends.

And he reaches out the kids who are sitting before him and they throw their arms around his middle. He feels Laura wrapping her arms around him. He buries his face in Cooper’s shoulder. The rest of the team is silent.

He has a wife. Kids. Teammates. They accept him, no matter what. They don’t care about all the things about him that are broken. Clint wishes he couldn’t care. But he can’t.

He feels emotional, all his feelings (all his fear, his happiness, his sadness) are coming up. Clint doesn’t want to cry.

But he does.

****

The next morning, when the sun just has started to rise and nobody else is up yet, Clint walks out to feed the chickens and collect the eggs. There is a guy with a metal arm sitting in the porch.


End file.
